In uncertain times, family and community connections help us feel grounded and supported. By reaching out, gathering, and sharing simple moments, we create balance, resilience, and a ripple of positive change in the world. Read more >
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Alison Wem came to the Your Soul Family techniques a number of years ago in the early hours one night as, newly widowed with children and a demanding job, she confronted her anguish – and found not chaos and more pain but a place of calmness and a route to strength, love and guidance.
Alison captured the process she went through and shares them in easy-to-do steps in her first book Creating Your Soul Map – a route back to your soul. Soul Maps are a visual representation of you and your life. Choosing a soul map template to colour, you paint the geometric shapes to relax the mind to find your inner strength, wisdom, and peace. No artistic skills are required.
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Find your calmness, colour a free Soul Map template. From a calm space you make wiser decisions.
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Stress resides not in the mind but in the nervous system. Our ‘fight or flight’ response raises our cortisol level causing the sympathetic nervous system to activate. Our bodies are designed for a raised cortisol level but only in short bursts to aid our survival. However in our modern ‘always on the go’ life style, many people live with chronic raised cortisol levels leading to slow digestion, sleep disruption and other side effects.
Rest and relaxation reduces our cortisol level. Some will have achieved this in the long festive break, but the question is;
How do you maintain an appropriate cortisol level once you are back at work?
Taking a break of not less than 15 minutes has a big impact on your cortisol level. These breaks can and should be simple such as a walk, a coffee and a magazine, sitting in a park, taking a bath, listening to some music. All of these breaks should be discrete and separate. There is little value in a break where you spend the entire time worrying about a problem.
Sadness often goes hand-in-hand with loneliness. You can feel lonely in an unhappy relationship, family or city. Humans are tribal by nature so loneliness is the hardest of conditions. I experienced loneliness as a widow in my 40s. With two children life was very busy but inside I had an aching loneliness. I count my blessings that I fell in love again and my husband came with a large, boisterous and loving family.
Over Christmas and the New Year festivities many of us have enjoyed time with friends and family – even if there were some irritations along the way. Sadly many have spent this time alone. Or a person who normally lives alone, who has spent time with people, is now faced with going home to a lonely life. How daunting is that?
The 2nd January can be a sad time for many.
If like me when I was a widow, you feel lonely, rather than sit at home feeling sad, try to do things which bring you into contact with other people.
Smile at the world and the world will smile back.
Join a club or a chat with a neighbour can make a world of difference to how you feel about your day.
I know it’s not easy, I have been there.
Each little step you take will ease your situation. It does take effort and perseverance to move forward but it will be worthwhile.
If you are home bound, you can always call Esther Rantzen’s – The Silver Line, telephone number 0800 4 70 80 90 for a chat. Some call just to say ‘Good Morning’ and ‘Good Night.’
For those of you lucky enough to have people who care for you, be grateful for them. Dr Chatterjee suggests an exercise to boost your positive feelings. True happiness comes from the heart.
The Love List – write down five things you love about someone close to you.
It could be for a partner, friend, child, colleague, you can take a different person each day or stay with the same person. In close relationships we often focus on the things that irritate you rather the things that bring you joy. This simple exercise changes the focus onto the positive things in the relationship and often changes how you feel about it. So often people do not reflect on their relationships in this manner until its too late and the person is lost to them in some way.
If you are aware of a person who lives alone, perhaps a neighbour, colleague, friend or relative; take some time in January to give them a call, better still visit them, go for a coffee or set another place at your dinner table. It will help them to get past the January Blues. When you give, you often receive as well.
How do you feel?
If you relate to this article and need some more help and guidance in your life
The approach to Christmas can be a challenging time. Women are often the main organiser of school costumes for nativities, other social events, presents, and the food preparation for the day. Of course, this is on top of normal daily activities. It is not a wonder many women are tense over the pre-Christmas period.
Do you recognise the scenario?
Lovely as Christmas can be, it takes a lot of work to make it a success. Often all of those preparations are not recognised. Others may say
How hard can it be, its only one day!
