Loneliness can feel heavy, yet it also invites growth. In still moments, we rediscover strength, meaning, and the possibility of connection. Read more >
All of us experience grief at some point in our lives. When we experience it for the first time, it can come as quite a shock. It is often not talked about so it is hard to know how to deal with it.
When someone you love dies it can leave a big hole in your life. It can feel like life is no longer worth living. If there has been an illness and anticipation of death, you may have had the opportunity to say the important things you wanted to say such as how much you love each other or maybe forgiveness for a perceived wrong.
If, like me, the death was sudden and unexpected, you do not get the opportunity to say those important words. I believe that is why people say you should live every day as if it is your last and not to go to bed on an argument.
I believe grieving is the process of saying goodbye. Through this process you experience many emotions.
Listen to Alison Wem’s personal experience of widowhood and how to navigate the grieving process.
Sadness often goes hand-in-hand with loneliness. You can feel lonely in an unhappy relationship, family or city. Humans are tribal by nature so loneliness is the hardest of conditions. I experienced loneliness as a widow in my 40s. With two children life was very busy but inside I had an aching loneliness. I count my blessings that I fell in love again and my husband came with a large, boisterous and loving family.
Over Christmas and the New Year festivities many of us have enjoyed time with friends and family – even if there were some irritations along the way. Sadly many have spent this time alone. Or a person who normally lives alone, who has spent time with people, is now faced with going home to a lonely life. How daunting is that?
The 2nd January can be a sad time for many.
If like me when I was a widow, you feel lonely, rather than sit at home feeling sad, try to do things which bring you into contact with other people.
Smile at the world and the world will smile back.
Join a club or a chat with a neighbour can make a world of difference to how you feel about your day.
I know it’s not easy, I have been there.
Each little step you take will ease your situation. It does take effort and perseverance to move forward but it will be worthwhile.
If you are home bound, you can always call Esther Rantzen’s – The Silver Line, telephone number 0800 4 70 80 90 for a chat. Some call just to say ‘Good Morning’ and ‘Good Night.’
For those of you lucky enough to have people who care for you, be grateful for them. Dr Chatterjee suggests an exercise to boost your positive feelings. True happiness comes from the heart.
The Love List – write down five things you love about someone close to you.
It could be for a partner, friend, child, colleague, you can take a different person each day or stay with the same person. In close relationships we often focus on the things that irritate you rather the things that bring you joy. This simple exercise changes the focus onto the positive things in the relationship and often changes how you feel about it. So often people do not reflect on their relationships in this manner until its too late and the person is lost to them in some way.
If you are aware of a person who lives alone, perhaps a neighbour, colleague, friend or relative; take some time in January to give them a call, better still visit them, go for a coffee or set another place at your dinner table. It will help them to get past the January Blues. When you give, you often receive as well.
How do you feel?
If you relate to this article and need some more help and guidance in your liferead more
January brings a fresh start: simplify your life to allow more space for joy….
At the moment there is plenty in the world to worry about – inflation, energy crisis, war, mortgage and rent increases. Many of my friends have said they have stopped reading the news as much of it promotes fear or is depressing.
You are part of humanity and your behaviour has an impact whether you consciously recognise it or not. You are part of the collective consciousness of humanity and therefore contribute to steering our journey.
World calamities give us good reasons to change. Some call it the ‘burning ground’ and it’s a driver for doing things differently from the past.
What can I do that impacts national issues?
If you look at humanity globally and saw them as you see your family e.g., if someone is upset it upsets you; a more caring behaviour comes to the fore. It makes our differences of colour, gender, religion, country and many other things seem irrelevant.
How can I influence such a big family?
Your fears add to a general climate of fear and the behaviours it stimulates such as anger, territorialism, overstocking on goods. But
Calmness in the face of calamities creates a more positive response enabling you and others to take actions to mitigate the impact of the calamity.
Kindness: Help someone in your community. They will feel better and so will you.
Compassion: be kind to struggling family and friends.
The approach to Christmas can be a challenging time. Women are often the main organiser of school costumes for nativities, other social events, presents, and the food preparation for the day. Of course this is on top of normal daily activities. It is not a wonder many women are tense over the pre-Christmas period. Do you recognise the scenario?
However there are things women can do to help themselves. Lets look at some tips for the woman of the house…..
Tip #1 Stay calm – remember that the people coming on Christmas Day are friends and family. The day is not a test, they love you. Everything does not have to be perfect, only you want that. Do not be afraid to delegate tasks.read more
Grieving for a loss or trying to support someone who has lost a loved one?
All of us experience grief at some point in our lives. When we experience it for the first time it can come as quite a shock. It is often not talked about so it is hard to know how to deal with it.
In the UK over 100,000 people have passed as a direct result of catching Covid-19. On average for each person who passes, 8 – 10 people feel the loss of them in their lives.
The population of the UK is approximately 68m people and up to 1m of them are currently grieving. Many of them are young adults who did not expect to loose a parent so soon. 1m people is nearly 1.5% of the population, so probably all of us know someone who has lost a loved one and is grieving. The UK is not the only country in this situation.
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Sadness often goes hand-in-hand with loneliness. You can feel lonely in an unhappy relationship, family or city. Humans are tribal by nature so loneliness is the hardest of conditions. I experienced loneliness as a widow in my 40s. With two children life was very busy but inside I had an aching loneliness. I count my blessings that I fell in love again and my husband came with a large, boisterous and loving family.
