Feeling sad from losing someone?: We should talk more openly about the dying process.
This week I have lost a good friend of over 50 years. He was my late husband’s best friend. They came to me as a cheeky pair and always made me laugh. We met as teenagers and stayed friends through all of the ups and downs of life. My friend held my son when he was only hours old having talked his way into the maternity ward. I always knew he would be there for me if I needed help. He was a good man.
Sadly my friend has been terminally ill for 10 months. We still met up and laughed but in the background our hearts were heavy. The dying process can be protracted and not easy to participate in. As my friend’s health deteriorated, he no longer wished to meet up. He was a very private man and didn’t want me to see him as he had become. I had to respect his wishes, but it wouldn’t have worried me how he looked. He was still the friend he had always been.
Sadness often goes hand-in-hand with loneliness. You can feel lonely in an unhappy relationship, family or city. Humans are tribal by nature so loneliness is the hardest of conditions. I experienced loneliness as a widow in my 40s. With two children life was very busy but inside I had an aching loneliness. I count my blessings that I fell in love again and my husband came with a large, boisterous and loving family.
