wisdom

Women: do they make good coaches?

When I started my career in IT, I was often the only woman on the team.  What I observed was that men operated differently and I had to learn to adapt to a new set of team social rules.  In my experience men are;

  • much more direct
  • may even shout at you when irritated
  • not hold a grudge afterwards.

Having a mentor to help with this learning became an imperative for me and was enormously beneficial.

If like me you are in the second half of your career, you may have ruminated on how you operate in the workplace.  Meeting up with a former manager from my youth, he reminded me how when I first worked for him I did not speak up in a group situation, even when he knew I had some good ideas.  This is not an uncommon trait in a woman at work. read more

By Alison Wem, ago

Two wrongs do not make a right

In a maths formula two negatives make a positive.  In life this is not true.  If someone does you a wrong, reciprocating with another wrong does not rectify the situation.  In fact it does the opposite and compounds the bad behaviour and reduces yourself.

You may not be able to prevent others doing you a wrong, but you do get to choose how you respond.  Your choice expresses how you are as a person and how you chose to live your life.

Dedicated to my mother and the wonderful two little boys in our family who represent the next generation arriving. read more

By Alison Wem, ago

Living life

Challenges in our Lives

Living life is not always easy.  Many of us have challenges in our lives which we are trying to overcome.  There is often a life lesson to be learnt in the challenges we are presented with, if we can but see it.  This does not make the challenge any easier, but sometimes in knowing the lesson, we feel less of the victim.

When we understand the lesson to be learnt, we do not feel so much of a victim.  Then we approach the challenge in a different way.  This often makes learning the lesson easier. read more

By Alison Wem, ago

Families together

In our busy 21st century lives, there is a trend towards families eating their meals from trays watching TV rather than sitting to a table and facing each other.  Likewise teenagers, if allowed, will take their food and eat in their bedrooms.  Eating a meal at a table together as a family strengthens the family bond.  Over the meal conversation will flow backwards and forwards between parents, between parents and children.  By sharing their day’s news, family members are more involved with each others lives.  This gives opportunities to support one another and for parents to guide a child.  Listening to the conversation between parents is another opportunity for children to learn how to behave with another person and to love and support that person.  The simple act of eating a meal together provides many opportunities to learn for all involved. read more

By Alison Wem, ago

Amplify the good

Everyone has some good traits in them.  Speak of these good elements and it will amplify them.  When praised for their good traits, individuals will be encouraged to focus on them.  The not so nice elements will then be diminished and will fall away.  In this way you help the individual, yourself and the community you live in.

Dedicated to my mother and the wonderful two little boys in our family who represent the next generation arriving.

By Alison Wem, ago

Possessions do not make a home

wom-possessions-v3

Home is where you go to recharge your batteries.  Create a calm home and then all who live in or visit your home will feel refreshed from spending time there.

Love and compassion make a home welcoming.  Focus your attention on these things rather than collecting and managing ‘stuff’.  A happy, calm home will be far more rewarding than a house full of possessions

Dedicated to my mother and the wonderful two little boys in our family who represent the next generation arriving.

By Alison Wem, ago

Think the best of people

Best of people

Do not listen to gossip about people.  It diminishes both yourself and them.  Always think the best of an individual unless proven otherwise.  People will respond to your faith in them and give of their best to you.  Then both you and they are the better for it.

Dedicated to my mother and the wonderful two little boys in our family who represent the next generation arriving.

By [email protected], ago