Sadness often goes hand-in-hand with loneliness. You can feel lonely in an unhappy relationship, family or city. Humans are tribal by nature so loneliness is the hardest of conditions. I experienced loneliness as a widow in my 40s. With two children life was very busy but inside I had an aching loneliness. I count my blessings that I fell in love again and my husband came with a large, boisterous and loving family.
Over Christmas and the New Year festivities many of us have enjoyed time with friends and family – even if there were some irritations along the way. Sadly many have spent this time alone. Or a person who normally lives alone, who has spent time with people, is now faced with going home to a lonely life. How daunting is that?
The 2nd January can be a sad time for many.
If like me when I was a widow, you feel lonely, rather than sit at home feeling sad, try to do things which bring you into contact with other people.
Smile at the world and the world will smile back.
Join a club or a chat with a neighbour can make a world of difference to how you feel about your day.
I know it’s not easy, I have been there.
Each little step you take will ease your situation. It does take effort and perseverance to move forward but it will be worthwhile.
If you are home bound, you can always call Esther Rantzen’s – The Silver Line, telephone number 0800 4 70 80 90 for a chat. Some call just to say ‘Good Morning’ and ‘Good Night.’
For those of you lucky enough to have people who care for you, be grateful for them. Dr Chatterjee suggests an exercise to boost your positive feelings. True happiness comes from the heart.
The Love List – write down five things you love about someone close to you.
It could be for a partner, friend, child, colleague, you can take a different person each day or stay with the same person. In close relationships we often focus on the things that irritate you rather the things that bring you joy. This simple exercise changes the focus onto the positive things in the relationship and often changes how you feel about it. So often people do not reflect on their relationships in this manner until its too late and the person is lost to them in some way.
If you are aware of a person who lives alone, perhaps a neighbour, colleague, friend or relative; take some time in January to give them a call, better still visit them, go for a coffee or set another place at your dinner table. It will help them to get past the January Blues. When you give, you often receive as well.
How do you feel?
If you relate to this article and need some more help and guidance in your life read more
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