joy

Christmas is nearly here: feeling panicky?

Sadly preparation for Christmas can send many people into a panic. All those presents to find for the people most important to you in your life. How will you find something that brings joy, sends your love and shares some truths on life and living.

Don’t make it hard for yourself. Help is at hand. 

Here are a few inexpensive books that make great presents for those who are curious about life. Be the person to ignite your loved ones curiosity and help them to achieve a greater awareness of who they really are.

Alison Wem’s book reviews:

    

Of course I would love it if you tried one of my books. One of my favourites is Secrets of Your Soul. There are lots of lovely little stories of past lives. They are easy to read and come with an illustration. A good read with some spiritual messages. If you hurry, there is still time to order it and get it delivered before Christmas.

Click here for the UK and here for the US

If you relate to this article and need some more help and guidance in your life – get in touch with Alison. Here are her contact details.

Click to contact me Here

Tel: +44 7966 137568  Email: [email protected]

Available face-to-face or via Zoom/WhatsApp depending on location.

 

By Alison Wem, ago

Friends: 3 characteristics of a good friend

A friendship can strike up quickly between you and another person or it may grow over time.  Both are valid approaches to establishing a friendship.  At some point you will realise they are important to you.  Your relationship may display many of these characteristics;

  • challenge you making the relationship exciting and fun.
  • stay with you through the good times and the sad times.
  • supportive of each other – your hopes, desires and fears.

Often conversation bounces backwards and forwards between you with each of you listening and giving a considered reply.  Good friends love you and can feel as comfortable as an old pair of slippers!

You feel able to ask them for their help and they are there for you if your world comes tumbling down.

Humans are tribal by nature and therefore feel happier and more fulfilled when they have good friends. Plus there is the 150-friend theory. This states that the human brain is hard wired to have up to 150 friends and this dates from early social development. At that time, we typically lived in tribes and traditionally the tribe size was 150 people. The survival reason for being in a tribe is that you are stronger together than apart. It is difficult to know whether the tribes or the brain developed first. However there does seem to be some synergy between the two.

For me, it is not about the quantity of friendships but rather the quality of your relationships read more

By Alison Wem, ago

Feeling sad when everyone else is happy?

Sadness often goes hand-in-hand with loneliness. You can feel lonely in an unhappy relationship, family or city. Humans are tribal by nature so loneliness is the hardest of conditions. I experienced loneliness as a widow in my 40s. With two children life was very busy but inside I had an aching loneliness. I count my blessings that I fell in love again and my husband came with a large, boisterous and loving family.

Over Christmas and the New Year festivities many of us have enjoyed time with friends and family – even if there were some irritations along the way. Sadly many have spent this time alone. Or a person who normally lives alone, who has spent time with people, is now faced with going home to a lonely life. How daunting is that?

The 2nd January can be a sad time for many.

If like me when I was a widow, you feel lonely, rather than sit at home feeling sad, try to do things which bring you into contact with other people.

Smile at the world and the world will smile back.

Join a club or a chat with a neighbour can make a world of difference to how you feel about your day.

I know it’s not easy, I have been there.

Each little step you take will ease your situation. It does take effort and perseverance to move forward but it will be worthwhile.

If you are home bound, you can always call Esther Rantzen’s – The Silver Line, telephone number 0800 4 70 80 90 for a chat. Some call just to say ‘Good Morning’ and ‘Good Night.’

For those of you lucky enough to have people who care for you, be grateful for them. Dr Chatterjee suggests an exercise to boost your positive feelings. True happiness comes from the heart.

The Love List – write down five things you love about someone close to you.

It could be for a partner, friend, child, colleague, you can take a different person each day or stay with the same person. In close relationships we often focus on the things that irritate you rather the things that bring you joy. This simple exercise changes the focus onto the positive things in the relationship and often changes how you feel about it. So often people do not reflect on their relationships in this manner until its too late and the person is lost to them in some way.

If you are aware of a person who lives alone, perhaps a neighbour, colleague, friend or relative; take some time in January to give them a call, better still visit them, go for a coffee or set another place at your dinner table. It will help them to get past the January Blues. When you give, you often receive as well.

How do you feel?

If you relate to this article and need some more help and guidance in your life read more

By Alison Wem, ago

Rumi’s Reflections: Alison Wem’s Journal – Day 12

Everyone is overridden by

thoughts; that’s why

they have so much

heartache and sorrow.

Jalal al-Din Rumi

Having a strong intellect and the ability to reason things through is valued in society. Yet I observe the pressure the school system puts on our young people to ever obtain higher grades. I do wonder if we are robbing them of their childhood. It should be full of natural curiosity and discovery. Yet there is little time at school or perhaps at home to allow this to happen.

As a child, I enjoyed lovely days of ‘messing around in the garden or park’ looking at flowers, plants and insects, building camps and playing with water. Are children still able to regularly do this and come into bed tired and dirty?

My observation is our young people are taking into their adulthood the practice of always being busy and ‘doing’. We are not allowing ourselves to just ‘be’ – to enjoy the moment of a beautiful sky or sunset or the energy of a shower of rain falling on your face.

Simple pleasures ease the heart and bring us joy. They are available to all of us if you allow yourself to enjoy them.

By Alison Wem, ago

Needing some extra love?

Feeling in the need of an extra hug and some love?

The perceived wisdom is that you should be able to love yourself and not have to rely on someone else to provide the love in our life. I find this hard or perhaps I lack the imagination to know how to love myself. So I will let you into my secret on how to boost the love in your life.

When I was training as a medium, our teacher asked her students to feel the love attached to some cards she had received from friends and family and to read the messages, When someone sends you a card their love attaches to it and arrives with card on your door mat.

Everyone has the ability to feel this love, you do not need any training. This is why you are so disappointed if a loved one forgets a special day. It is not the card you miss but the love attached to it. How marvellous that the birthday card from a loved one is not just for one day. With this in mind, I now keep my cards and put a display of particularly special or poignant cards from my loved ones in my kitchen.

This is a picture of the cupboard in the corner of my kitchen. Like most women, I spend a lot of time in this room. When I am ironing I can feel their love which puts a smile on my face. Whenever I need a boost in my life, I stand directly in front of the display of cards. Love is an energy and its good to feel it.

 

 

 

 

If you relate to this article and need some more help and guidance in your life Get in touch with Alison at [email protected]

 

 

By Alison Wem, ago