Cities have always felt cold and anonymous to me. People walk with their eyes down. Nobody says good morning. When we moved to London for career reasons, I never truly felt at home.
By contrast, the village where I raised my family felt very different. Walking along the high street often meant exchanging a smile or a few words. Sometimes it was with someone I knew. Sometimes it was with a complete stranger – a brief moment of connection that passed almost unnoticed.
The interaction was brief and easily overlooked. Yet it often left me feeling lighter. More connected. More at ease with where I lived.
Small moments that stay with us
For a long time, I assumed this difference was about place. Cities versus villages. Busy streets versus familiar faces. However, research suggests it isn’t about geography at all. Instead, it’s about human connection.
What research helps us see
Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson’s work on positive resonance helps explain why these fleeting encounters matter so much. Positive resonance refers to the shared emotional uplift that occurs when two people briefly feel “in sync”. This can happen through eye contact, a smile, or a few kind words.
Importantly, these moments do not require familiarity or intimacy. They don’t even require conversation. They can occur between complete strangers.
Fredrickson describes these micro-connections as the most basic building blocks of love. Not romantic love, but the everyday warmth that helps us feel safe, seen, and part of something larger than ourselves.
When these moments are present, even in tiny doses, they support well-being. They also strengthen our sense of social belonging. When they are missing, something quieter happens. A subtle erosion sets in.
This is where modern life plays a role. Increasingly, our needs are met through screens rather than streets. Food, clothing, banking, and even social interaction arrive via our phones. While convenient, this shift reduces chance encounters. As a result, small human moments become rarer.
Why this matters more now
Loneliness is often discussed as a problem of age or circumstance. Yet it may also be shaped by how we move through our days. If we rarely leave home, avoid eye contact, or stop exchanging greetings, it reduces what makes us feel human.
Loneliness is often framed as a problem of age or circumstance. It may also be shaped by how we move through our days. If we rarely leave the house, avoid eye contact, or stop exchanging greetings, those small human threads begin to fray.
One of the simplest ways to support well-being, Fredrickson notes, is also one of the most accessible. Leave the house. Take a walk. Shop locally. Exchange a greeting. Allow yourself to be seen, even briefly.
None of this requires changing who you are. It doesn’t demand confidence or extroversion. Instead, it asks for something gentler. A willingness to allow brief, unscripted connection – the kind that quietly reminds you that you belong.
Read the full article: Why Loving Moments With Strangers Carry Lasting Benefits
What are your view on this topic? Please share a comment. I would love to hear what you think.
Like to read another article on human happiness? Try this: Happiness: 4 thoughts for the weekend
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