How do I move forward after great loss?

Loss comes in many forms. A sense of loss is felt when you no longer have a person you love in your life or something such as a job, business or a home. The cause of the loss is varied such as death, a breakup, redundancy, a failed mortgage, but the outcome, a horrible feeling that strikes right at your heart, is the same.

For me loss and fear feel very similar. I lost my husband through an unexpected death in my 40s and experienced real fear from a very public failure of a business project I was leading in my 50s. Both had an enormous impact on my life and my security.

Loss and fear strike right at your heart as if someone has stabbed you.

How do you recover from such a strong emotion it affects you physically? You can’t make the loss go away. It is what it is.

Allow yourself to feel the pain and then let it go. It is not healthy to hold onto the pain as it will ultimately affect your body. In many cultures, it is encouraged to wail – a loud cry of pain, grief, or anger. All of these emotions come with loss and get muddled up together. Wailing is part of the process of letting go. In western cultures, it is not so condoned in modern times. But you can wail in private.

After my husband died, I use to wail in my bathroom late at night with a towel stuffed in my mouth so my children couldn’t hear me.

I needed the release of letting the pain out. Visualise your pain coming out of your body and floating away on a little white cloud. Give it to Mother Earth to deal with so nobody else absorbs your pain.

To help you get up in the morning and put one foot in front of the other – don’t look too far ahead. Take each day as it comes and deal with it. Just getting through the day is an achievement. You should congratulate yourself and not allow your thoughts to go around in your head with – what if?

Know that in time you will feel calmer.

Despite how you feel, the old adage time is a great healer is true. Only then is it right to consider a longer time horizon and what you might like to do next. It is alright to take your time. It is your life and everybody grieves the loss of something at their own pace.

Once you feel calmer, it will be easier to connect with your soul through your intuition. Your soul will help to comfort and heal you. It will give you good guidance.

Try to listen to your intuition and feel your guidance.