When I was growing up, I used to play with a small group of girls who lived nearby. Generally, we all got on and we played happily together. After the long summer holidays together, perhaps we had spent too much time together and one of us would say or do something unkind.
When I used to go running to my mum upset, she did not say – oh you poor thing. Instead, she used to ask me to imagine how that person must feel inside to be so unkind. I should feel grateful that I didn’t feel like that.
A little kindness can go a long way.
The pain from unkindness can be intense. It doesn’t remain in childhood with friendship upsets. Unkindness can appear in adult life, often when you least expect it and sometimes from those closest to you such as a partner. The pain can go straight to your heart and make you feel wretched. When you feel like that, it is really hard to step back and not give some unkind response aimed to hurt. But in doing this, the only person you really hurt is yourself. If you are trying to live by strong life values, being unkind is not one of them.
When someone is unkind to you, being unkind to them back is not the right response.
The best way to counter unkindness is to show kindness. It may not be a big thing but a thoughtful, gentle kindness. In being kind to the other person, you are honouring yourself and being kind to yourself too.
We have all been unkind sometime, often through thoughtlessness rather than malicious intent. It takes consideration to use kind words, kind words can be healing, loving and inspiring.
Kindness is such a good contribution to make to this world of ours.
This post is dedicated to those who try to practice kind words and acts of kindness.
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